Allow me to point out the glaringly obvious for a second: half of our species, at least in the Western world, doesn’t like or feel comfortable in their bodies.
We take it as so evident we don’t think about it much, but guys, that’s INSANE.
Imagine if cats were like, “Urgh why do I have white patches on my back? I wish I was all black like my neighbour”. Or, “Why are my paws not as furry as that dudes’? I hate my paws.”
I mean?!
A species of which half (and I realise this is an ever-increasing issue for men as well, but I know women so that’s my focus here) has been socialised to hate their bodies = the most fundamental aspect of our being alive. The place of exchange between interior and exterior, the crossing point for all our experiences of life, the thing that allows us to be here in the first place.
CRAZY.
And no, sadly I am not immune from this, in fact I think was pretty well socialised in most of the ways we habitually shame ourselves in this culture. My saving grace in many ways is that I have a ton of scorpio in my chart (four planets, in case you care) which means I’m inherently fascinated by the taboo.
So on the one hand I‘ve got my socialised self that is hyper-critical of my appearance, and on the other this wild-eyed feminist anarchist witch that wants to blow the whole system up.
I’m sure you can relate.
Soul and vessel
The thing is, in this time-space dimension of physical matter, our bodies are what we show up in. Simple as that. No escaping it.
And the expression of our essence, of our souls, comes through the vessel of this body that we are in, so the rejection of that vessel is not an inconsequential thing. To encounter how we feel about our vessel, even if it’s confronting, is important - gently, and with kindness and compassion.
If we ignore it, if we avoid it, if we are silently rejecting this vessel, then that rejection will be part of every single interaction we have in this life.
Everything passes through the body. So that energy of rejection is there in the energy that we are moving through the world with.
If we want to increase our power, our agency, our impact in the world, not to mention our sense of wellbeing and joy, it is imperative that we come into deep and loving relationship with our bodies.
How we show up in the world is our legacy, it’s how we change the world - through the simple fact of our vibration. And if part of that vibration is a rejection of the vessel we express that through, that’s a distortion we could do without.
What if
So many of us simply accept that we don’t like our bodies that much and “get on with it”. But what if it doesn’t have to be that way? What if we could learn to accept and love our bodies? How much more power is it possible to channel through a vessel that is accepted and loved than one which is rejected?
How much more powerfully can we show up in the world? How much more space can we take up?
What would happen if women truly reclaimed their bodies?
A world full of women who stand proud and powerful, rooted in the immense mystical and physical power of the female body?
Who view their bodies not as a weakness, but as a strength?
Who trust their bodies to take care of them, who know their bodies as an ally, who honour and revere the sacred gift of their material vessel?
Can you imagine it?!
The healing mirror
The mirror is an enemy to so many women. This is such a deeply sad thing. We could be celebrating these insanely brilliant physical vessels as absolute miracles of millions of years of evolution, as well as the spirit perspective of how lucky we are to get to be here having this incarnated experience, and instead we’re shaming ourselves for the size of our thighs.
What a waste! Thighs are delicious fleshy goodness!
Here’s the thing - I know with absolute certainty (yep, absolute) that once we’re on the other side we’re going to be like WHAAAAAAT I cannot believe I spent so much time complaining about that great vessel I had! What a waste of time and energy (and money, am I right?!)!
When I think about how much energy I’ve put into criticising and judging my body and how much that has held me back from living freely (I can only guess) it is heartbreaking.
One really powerful way I have recently discovered in this quest to engage directly with my body-image is to work with photography. The camera is a thing that has, prior to the last two years, terrified me; I’m acutely shy, self-conscious and still getting embodied (I know, it’s slow), so I’ve had a long-standing belief (= my entire life) that I’m just unphotogenic.
Allowing myself to get creative and play with costumes (fun!) and masks (game-changing) has completely exploded that fixed belief. It’s helped me feel more dynamic in my body, to see that it can make shapes and express itself in unaccustomed (sometimes edgy) ways; it’s broadened my experience of and therefore my beliefs around what my body looks like.
It seems it’s possible to create a “healing mirror” experience that can help us reframe our beliefs about these vessels, improve our relationship with them, and in fact even change that relationship in a fundamental way - to see them as a tool for fun, creative expression, and even as art (which is what they are).
Making ourselves into art is, I believe, an intrinsic human drive, because we are inherently creative beings that have a deep-seated urge to express our uniqueness. I think that’s probably why engaging with camera play in this way is so healing; because it makes use of our unique vessel in an artistic way that creates beauty.
I’m now offering Healing Mirror sessions as I really want everyone to be able to redefine their relationships with their bodies in an empowered and delicious way through making cool art. Healing doesn’t have to be slow, laborious and dull - it can be fun! If a little scary. That’s just part of the deal ;)
Get in touch if you’d like to know more.
I want to end this post with a poem I wrote many years ago, after an experience that left me raging at the systemic disempowerment in the medical system. This is my truth.
My body is a miracle
I am here. I am residing, abiding in this body.
The creative force of the universe pulses through me; I am earth and spirit, the crest of the wave, naked and burning with desire for life.
I am here, a cosmic miracle, a singular expression of evolution. A shooting star, bright and flaring, then gone.
I am here, and I am pure power. Every cell a universe, every breath a sacred communion, every action a creation.
I am here, in this endlessly resilient body, that works tirelessly for me and still delights in play.
How dare you tell me there is something wrong with it - as though it doesn’t know exactly what it is doing, as though it does not express itself perfectly, as though it is my enemy?
How dare you say that it is harming me, as though you know better than it does, as though you are more powerful than it is?
You are a bully, but my body is not a victim.
And neither am I a victim of this body - we are collaborators, weaving this life together.
My body is a transmitter of truth. It is a barometer of integrity; mine and yours.
My body is wiser than your books, more capable than your tools, more powerful than your chemicals.
My body is a miracle.